another moral hangover. fuck.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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