we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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