I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
