we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
