YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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