You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I didn't shave. On purpose
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
being pregnant is like rehab
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
