Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
