Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
