yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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