i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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