the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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