I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
