Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize