Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
