he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
