ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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