1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
actually, I'm a sock model
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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