No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Dicks are not precious.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
