I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
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Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
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Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.