...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(