I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later