Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
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