Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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