Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis

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(856): View more from New Jersey

well most of my day revolves around power hour

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(614): View more from Ohio

Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(402): View more from Nebraska

Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.

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(646): View more from New York

Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.

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(641): View more from Iowa

I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.

(515): View more from Iowa

That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.

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