I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
operation harelip BJ is a go
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
