Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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