I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
