Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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