You're so nebulous sometimes
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
