so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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