We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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