Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
