if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize