U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
