they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I puked a lego.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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