So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
