I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
