hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
