Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
