this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
