this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
