I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm passing your future prison.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
