I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
