I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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