My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
