And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You can't just leave with hair like that
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
