You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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