But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
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The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
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I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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