I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
