The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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