I puked a lego.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
