Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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