if we break up, who will get the dealer?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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