you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
