we're blogging at a bar
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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