I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She needs sedatives and a leash
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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