there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
