I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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