New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She bit a glass in half.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
