I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
please come you make the beer taste better
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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