Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
