Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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