Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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