She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she peed on how many people?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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